What is your focus?

I'm not exactly sure how to begin, simply because this is where GOD has me right now. So please bear with me as I try to put into words what He has been convicting me of.

As I was reading in Joshua 24, Joshua asks the people of Israel "....who will you serve..." will you serve the gods of a foreign land or the gods of the land in which you live? So the people responded with your typical Sunday school answer, "we will serve the Lord!", but Joshua told them they were unable to serve the Lord for they still had the gods of the land in their homes. The people argued," NO! We will serve the Lord!", and Joshua said fine but know this, you are your own witnesses, your own words will hold you accountable! That’s when I felt this heavy question upon my heart, What is your focus?

As I meditated on this question GOD brought back to memory of a friends testimony, of how she fell into an extremely difficult time financially. She only made enough money for rent and gas, but not enough for groceries to feed her 3 kids. The church she was in didn’t have the money to help. She prayed for the Lord to supply the money so she could buy groceries. And one day while at work someone came up to her and gave her $200,she was so excited that immediately after work she went to the store and filled the cart with exactly $200 worth of groceries. When she got on line to check out, she saw a family in the next line with just enough food for one person, and she heard GOD say to her, give your cart and the $200 to that family. She protested at first but again God said give the cart and the money to that family, so she did, and then went to her car and cried. When she got home she, of course was still crying and was angry with GOD and while she was asking GOD “why? “a friend knocked on her door and told her how he had gotten a pay raise and the Lord placed her on his heart to go and buy groceries for her, and she was blessed with more than enough food.

So then the next question was laid on my heart, “ You say GOD has supplied the money for me but then you turn around and say, I have earned my living. So which is it? Do I ( GOD ) supply or have you ( Eli ) earned it?” As I prayed God made me realize how we follow the “gods of this land”, how we follow the order man has laid. We are taught as children that we must work to pay bills and you must save any money left over. Don’t get me wrong yes it is good to pay your bills and save, but if we truly believe that God supplied the money then the first thing we should ask is, God what is your will for this money? He knows that we have bills to pay and obligations to meet, so we should trust that if He tells us to take our pay check and give it to “so’n’so” or donate it, that He will supply for us another way. He promises in Matt. 6:25-34 that if we “…seek first His kingdom and righteousness then all of these thing shall be given us.” Then earlier this week I read in Philippians 3:7-9 where Paul says, “…I count NOTHING as profit for myself, EVERYTHING is loss for the sake of Christ..” and it made me question, where is my focus? Do I have faith in Him to keep his promises? Where my whole life would reflect His love. To sacrifice everything and withhold nothing. So after reading this, are you a little uncomfortable? Because I’m extremely uncomfortable. But my prayer continues to be,” God help me to decrease so you may increase, let me be so submersed in your heart that I would no longer exist.” Amen.

written in May 2010